Thursday, August 22, 2013
Last night, I was getting ready to put all things together for ML's need back to school. Yes, summer break is officially ended. Today is the 1st day she's back to school after months.
I guess, I was not ready to let her go. I was very emotional last hours.
As I planned, I would fix ML's lunch box. ML's really picky about food. She could eat BOLOGNA SANDWICH, PB&J, HOTDOG daily! She don't eat veggies, nor grilled chicken unless it's from Mc.D ( only nuggets ). I have to come up with something else. She don't eat rice either, nor corn, nor mac&cheese ( but, surprisingly, she would eat at one's house! ) She loves Pizza, only pepperoni, nothing else on it.
ML came home from Grandma's house, and I told her we'd experience with food. She asked, " Could I do it,too?" I said," Yes. You'll have the honour to decorate it."
I've seen lots of friends playing around decorating the food. They look so cool!!!!!!!!!! I wish I could do that. But, looking at all the efforts and times, I was chickened out. I didn't think I'd do it.
Till last nite...
I went to the basement, checked on my storage, and I found some cookies cutters. Hey! Let's do the project!
ML's waiting for me. She said," Well, let's do this one. I like the HEART shape without the ARROW." ha ha ha ha ha ha.
After decorating here and there, ML said," I think we're done, Mommy!"
So, I took her pic. I said," Come on, let's take the pic! Ohhh, it looks so cute!!!!!!!!!!!"
ML said," I can't wait to eat it tomorrow!!!!!!! Cutie!!!"
We put away her lunch box. I told ML that the lunch box was put in the fridge, so it won't stail. Daddy came up and said," Please write down the notes what need to get done tomorrow, and put on the front chair. It's easier for me to do in the morning."
I wrote down the lists ( incl. the sign of 1st day back to school ). While I was cleaning, ML turned on her CD player, listening to her VBS cd " KINGDOM CHRONICLE" songs. She jumped around, she's really happy.
She finally went upstairs, went to her bedroom, watching tv. I said, " Baby, it's time to sleep. It's already 10pm." She said," My feet are dirty." I said," Well, let's go wash away the " MONSTERS" from your feet". :D We've been playing " WASHING AWAY MONSTERS" by washing feet, hands and face.
She jumped out, went to the bathtub. We washed our feet together, brushed teeth, washed faces and hands.
She laid down, and I was watching her. All a sudden, my tears came down :(
I laid down on her belly and started crying.
ML : " Mommy, are you crying?"
Me : " Yes "
ML: " Why? "
Me : " I am sad, I'm happy."
ML : " Why are you crying like a baby?"
Me : " I am sad, you'll be going back to school tomorrow. I'm happy at the same time.
ML : " Please don't cry... Please... please..... It makes me stop from doing anything,and pause me."
Me : " I have a mixed feeling now. You're getting bigger. Huggggggggggggg. I love you!"
ML : " I'll be OK, Mommy. Here, I draw you a HEART. You'll remember me tomorrow."
Me : " Thanks, Baby! I love you!"
I asked ML to pray with me. I was crying in my prayer. I asked God to take care of her, to give her wisdom, kind heart to care about others, to love others, to behave. I was in tears. There's someting like a big thing was stuck in my heart that was about to explode. Gosh, is this the feeling of being a Mom, whose worry about things coming up ?
I do hope that ML's childhood will be a blessed one. I am longing that my kids would be fear of God, remember what were expected.
I asked ML," Ok, cc. Kiss me goodnite, please."
She kissed me goodnite.
I went back to my bedroom. Baby AB woke up, she cried. I took her out from her crib. I was still crying, sobbing, laying down next to Baby AB.
Later on, I heard the door was opened. It's ML
ML : " Mommy"
Me : " Yes, baby ?"
ML : " Since you miss me, could I sleep here with you tonite ?"
Me : " PLEASSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! "
I was really happy she asked for it.
I said, " Come on here. Sleep next to Mommy and Baby AB. We'd love to have you."
Aghhh... I felt soooooooooo gooooddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!! I hugged her so tight! Baby AB was playing with her a bit.
I said to ML, " Now, Mommy can sleep good!"
She woke up a couple night. ML murmured about something. Ha ha ha h aha ha. This munckin is so funny! I asked,' What did you say ?" She said," Oh, nothing."
The next morning, I woke up. My alarm wasn't off. I changed Baby AB's diaper, fixed her bottle. I made sure ML's clothes were ready ( which I had prepared last nite ). I went down and looked around. All were there. Good!
I started the car, it didn't work :( Oh no!!!!!!!! Battery must have died! Duh! I went into the house, and ask Daddy to help me. He came down and said," Let me jump it." Well, it didn't work. He said," You must have let the light on all night." :( I thought I saw light was on at passanger door last night, but I thought it'd be off within seconds :(
Daddy said," Here, take my car. I'll take care of yours."
I moved Baby AB out from my car to his. I arrived at work a bit late.
I called Daddy around 8am, he called me back. He said that ML's doing OK, she's ready to leave. I was so glad to hear that.
Today's gonna be a long day for ML, since she'll be done from school by 3pm! Grandma will pick her up. Good for Grandma, she'll has extra hours to get some rest ( ML used to be home by 11'ish ).
Welcome back to School, ML!!! First grade student! We love you! We all wish you the best!
~ Daddy, Mommy, Oma, Grandma & Baby AB...and Putty cat!
Monday, August 19, 2013
I absolutely adore this man. I miss him every single day. Can't count how many times I've been crying wanting to see him even in my dreams. I think about him several times throughout the day even though it has been many years since he went on to Heaven. He was wonderful and I was very blessed as a child. I had the dad everyone dreams about.
I hope he has the best birthday celebration in Heaven. I am sure he does!After all, who deserves a better birthday than our favorite angels? And where better to have the most wonderful birthday ever than in Heaven?
It really hurts to know the fac that he's gone. I wish I could've done something for him. I wish I could've made him happy. I feel that I failed him.
I wish I had been given another chance to keep him for more years. We haven't had enough of him yet.
I love you as I did back then. I just hope... one day I will see you again.
I am so proud of you, brave and strong to the end.
You're my Papi, my own and only Papi. Till the last breath I take, you'll be and the only.
Remember the bday cake we bought you last time ? That was cute, wasn't it ??? The tiny guitar,and everybody was trying to eat it. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You still made a joke with Mami. ha ha ha ha ha. We loved the moment!
Happy birthday, Papi! You're my Papi, my own and only Papi. Till the last breath I take, you'll always be. Thank you for raising me as one of your children.
The most wonderful quote from Papi :
"It's a short time to be together than to separate. Take each moment to treasure and keep in your hearts. Till one day you look back, and you'll be blessed and greatful, you have memories left behind for your next generations."